Wednesday, March 06, 2013

on motherhood

if it's true that good intentions pave the road to hell i'm in trouble because i have myself a pretty well paved road.  i have been meaning to update this blog since, well, the last time i updated it but it just hasn't happened.  i don't know how these 'mommy bloggers' do it; being a full time stay at home mom and keeping an updated blog is a lot of work. 

for a while i didn't update because i felt i needed some time to find my voice as a new 'mommy blogger'.  i mean really, who cares, besides me, that hazel rolled over for the first time or is in the 99th percentile for her height?  nobody really wants to read that.  then i thought i would write about these things for the sake of record keeping, then remembered that is what a journal is for.  mostly i didn't update for two reasons: one being that hazel keeps me pretty darn busy and two that half the time i feel i don't have anything exciting to write about.  my days are all pretty much the same: feed hazel (a LOT), change diapers (a LOT), read stories and if the weather permits go for a walk.  i usually try to throw getting dressed and cooking dinner into the mix.  not that i don't enjoy my life because i do, i love it.  i just find it hard to write about my everyday routine and make it exciting enough for somebody to want to read about. 

so why am i writing now?  quite simply because i love to write.

In the last five months i have continued to grow as a mother almost as much as hazel has continued to grow.  and boy has she grown.  it seems she will wear a new outfit once or twice and then it gets boxed up with the rest of her outgrown clothes.   and every time i buy diapers it seems i am buying the next size up.  you would think all this growing would make her tired but it doesn't; naps are a rare thing around here.  eating isn't though.  i can't take a drink of water or eat a bowl of cereal without having her crawling up my leg.  the girl likes to eat.  the bad thing is she likes to eat more than just food.  she will eat dirt, carpet, toilet paper....anything she can find really.  i have learned to keep the doors shut and the floors vacuumed. 

being a mom really is great though.  it amazes me watching this little person grow and develop.  i know she teaches me far more than i could ever teach her.  i have learned what unconditional love is and know that my love for her and her need for me resemble, if only in part, the love my father in heaven has for me and my constant need for Him.  this lesson, i know, is all part of His plan. 

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